top of page

Not My Darling

Screenshot 2023-08-26 at 2.44.08 pm.png

Title: Not My Darling
Release Date: 2024

I should ignore her temptation, not give into it like a lovesick fool. Sultry doe-eyed Beyah Louise shouldn’t mean anything to me. Not a goddamn thing, and yet, she does, and I despise it.

I hate that the polarizing scent of lavender reminds me of her.

That shredded poetry of the bleeding heart is our fucking thing.

That my home—my said oasis—is blanketed with her longing fingerprints. An anarchy of her faded presence lays there; festered on my crisp bedsheets, coated against the shower tiles and the washed-out imprint of her cherry-red lips rimmed around my late wife’s favorite coffee mug.





Even when I close my eyes. Even when I convince myself she isn’t—she is. It’s ludicrous. Intoxicating. Forbidden. I’m twenty years older than her and she’s the last thing I need, and yet she wants me. Like a poisoned obsession. And my tragic grief is defrauding me.

I was supposed to be her psychiatrist.

Solely. Her. Doctor.

She was supposed to be my patient.

Not. My. Darling.

My job was to save her from her demons, not for her to become my weakness. This isn’t me. I thought this wasn’t me. But I can’t help bending over backward, doing everything to rid myself of the scars of my past and make her mine. I only hope that God or even Lucifer himself can save me, because as much as it scares me, I’m not letting go of Beyah.

Not now.

Not ever.


Not just yet.

bottom of page